It’s crazy to think that tomorrow begins my final semester of my undergraduate career at UMW. It’s been a wild ride, and I’m definitely coming out of it a better person. Still, this process of growing both as a person and as an English major and Digital Studies minor has left me with reservations about the coming semester.
Spring semesters have been notoriously entirely different animals than fall semesters. They always seem to hold a lot of intense life decisions from people I know or from myself. Friendship problems/drama/dissolutions, anxiety and panic attacks, and romantic relationship turmoil (both highs and lows, yeses and nos) have all been a part of my spring semesters. They’ve often left me gutted and feeling worse about myself and my abilities to function in the world socially. It’s a terrible feeling that’s hard to recover from; its effects are still present in my life today.
This semester is also looking to be my hardest, busiest one yet. Not only will I be taking 12 credit hours (4 classes), but one is a creative writing seminar and another is an independent study that I’ve been working on planning since mid-way through last semester. There’s also a very challenging, writing intensive class on Modern Poetry taught by one of my favorite professors as well as a class on Games & Culture that will probably offer up work-intensive assignments and time-consuming homework. I’m stoked for each class, but I also feel like I’m terrified for this semester because I know that once it starts, there’s not stopping and that I just have to go and keep doing.
I’ll also be working 10 hours a week as a tutor for digital projects. I love the job and its great getting paid while getting valuable work and digital skills experience, but I know that in the back of my mind it’s going to be another burden and another stressor by merely being a time commitment.
Since freshman year, I’ve really grown as a student and by junior year, I was finally working hard and getting good grades in all my classes. My work ethic has really become a powerhouse, but I also know that I’ve become so hell bent on working hard that I often don’t let myself take breaks, or sometimes even eat dinner. Last semester I got all As and I want more than ever to do the same this semester, but at the same time, I’m looking at my workload and wondering if its possible. I think it is.
I’m terrified of this semester, because I’ve got a slew of bad memories and plenty to stress about. The big unknown of post grad life is also terrifying. Still, I’m trying to remind myself of all the wonderful things this semester seems to be promising. I have a good friend visiting this coming weekend; there are plenty of awesome people in my classes whom I want to get to know better; and I have some wonderful friends by my side who I can always turn to and also know that they are just as busy and stressed as I am. So here’s to Spring Semester 2015, the final semester: may you be a hard but good one.