I’ve been working on revising one of my WIP, Breaking Orbit, since mid August. Draft 8 was a major overhaul and draft 9, the one I am currently working on, is mostly to tidy up and make sure the changes in draft 8 work. And with about two weeks left before I can set this project aside for a while, I’m feeling the burnout coming.

It’s like I’m two weeks away from finishing a semester at college. I am tired. I have worked incredibly hard (no seriously, revising 4-8K words per day is insane). And as much as I see some sort of finish line, I am mostly wanting to be done with it.

And I don’t intend to be whiny. I need to get my feelings out, is all. Sometimes I shrug off what I’m doing as work or as being anywhere close to impressive. But it’s definitely something substantial. A 100K novel is no easy feat to write or revise. I love this story and these characters, but I’m also weary of trudging through this tale over and over. I’m ready to hand it over to my critique partners and let them sweat the details for a bit.

I’m also incredibly excited to return to my novel baby, born July 2016. I feel Oceans Away calling to me. Ideas are bubbling up. I’m ready to linger in all that angst and heaviness (the narrators are a rape survivor and a recently diagnosed type 1 diabetic, so it’s a lot of emotions every which way). I’m excited to return (only mentally) to Bath, UK, and ponder how that location plays into the narrative. I’m ready for change and more hard work on a different topic.

There’s not much point this this blog. I guess I mostly want to put this out there for myself to look back on. Hopefully, one day I’ll return to this blog with a publishing deal and be able to see that all this hard work and burnout were worth it. I really, really, really hope so.

I think I’m also writing this because a lot of people seem to scoff at people who are all “I’m writing a novel” (probably because most of them are only THINKING about writing a novel and not actually writing one). But I’m actually writing one (actually, three with more in the works). And it’s HARD. But on the flip side, I LOVE IT. This feels like what I’m supposed to be doing. This feels like a way for me to make the world better by sharing characters, narratives, and stories that readers, especially those in high school, college, and post grad might need to read. Even when I’m feeling super bleh about the whole process, I’m still excited and in love with it.

In the words of Watsky, “I’ve put in hour after hour let’s be crystal clear / I’m gonna get there if it takes a day or fifty years.

So let’s get back to work.

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  1. I’ve so been there. You’re not alone, or whiny. It’s hard being an author or a writer sometimes because there is this “thing” where we’re never supposed to be down or upset, or struggle with any negative emotion. But I know when I hit points where I’m like grrr, it’s nice to know it’s not just me, that other people have been there.

    I loved my first novel, but I did hit a point where I was like *weeps* “Do I have to go through this again?!” Seen it so many times and yet you have to keep restarting. I can’t imagine any book I’d want to reread over and over again so soon after finishing, and it’s more than just reading, it’s hunting down every error and everything that could be corrected or changed or improved.

    Exhausting and yes, it makes complete sense that you just want to throw the thing away sometimes and never see it again.

  2. I’ve been there. The first novel I ever published was written and edited (at least six drafts; I forget the exact number) in less than nine months. I loved the characters and the story, but by the time I reached the release date I was ready to never read the book again.

    It’s definitely exhausting, but that rush of excitement when you finish yet another draft and realize you’re that much closer to the final one is amazing. Keep pushing forward–you’re in the home stretch!

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